Anti jokes

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "Why the long face?"
The horse says: "Evolution".

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face?". The horse says,"I was born this way."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" Being a horse, it can't understand human language. It's frightened and unfamiliar with it's surroundings, so it runs out of the bar, knocking over a few tables along the way.

A nerd walks into a bar, sees a hot girl and after never working up the courage to talk to her, goes home and jerks off while crying. Little did he know she had a lvl 74 mage.

A chemist and his friend walk into a bar.

The chemist says "I'd like a glass of H2O." So the bartender gave him water. His friend said "I'd like a glass of H2O, too." So the bartender also gave him water, because he knew what he meant and had no conceivable reason to be carrying hydrogen peroxide, much less to be giving it as a drink.

So a jew, a homosexual and a black man walk into a bar
The bartender says:

GET THE FUCK OUT

A horse walks into a bar
Barman says "Why the long face?"

The horse replies "My mum died this morning".

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please."
The barman says "why the big pause?"

So this guy walks into a bar. He ends up getting really drunk and taking home a highly promiscuous woman. They both die from AIDS.

So this Irish guy walks out of a bar.

From http://buttersafe.com/

A woman sits down at a bar and listens to a news reporter say "a murderer that killed his entire family is on the run". A man then approached her and said "Yeah, stuff like that really makes me want to spend time with my family". The woman asked "Yeah, where is your family?" The man said "They're dead".

A man walks up to a bar, says to the bartender "Hey, can I get a drink?" The bartender hands him one.

Then he asks for another.

And another.
And another.

Then the dude's driving home pretty slammed, and he's mumbling some weird words and stuff, and then he crashes into a tree on the way to his house and is killed on impact.

An Irish fella, an English geezer and a Scotsman walk into a bar.

They drink the heads of themselves, get into several fights, urinate against the bar, get arrested and fined 2500 €.

What do you call a horse that drinks a lot, carries a shotgun and a urge to kill your family?

Whatever you want, he's a horse, he doesn't really care about what his name is.

A man walks into a bar with a dog that's wearing an eyepatch. He says to the bartender "Hey, ask me about my dog," but the bartender is deaf in one ear and doesn't hear him. The bartender serves a woman on the other side of the bar first and by the time he gets to him, the man with the one-eyed dog has forgotten what he was going to say.

Two men walk into a bar, one is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unravels with a tedious inevitability.

A man gets distracted and walks into a bar.

He needed two stitches on his forehead.

A black man walked into a bar.

They allowed him to stay.

So get this, a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman all walk into a bar...

but there's no rabbi and no shaman and it's actually my 8th birthday and the priest is molesting me....

and the priest is my dad and he's not a priest.

My dad molested me... a lot.