Anti jokes

A man walks into a bar with a dog that's wearing an eyepatch. He says to the bartender "Hey, ask me about my dog," but the bartender is deaf in one ear and doesn't hear him. The bartender serves a woman on the other side of the bar first and by the time he gets to him, the man with the one-eyed dog has forgotten what he was going to say.

What did the cat say to the dog?

Meow.

A dog walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender realizes how silly this is, and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over and tells his wife about it, who ignores him. He begins to silently cry, knowing that his marriage is falling into shambles.

My dog's got no nose.

It was cut off by a gang of drunk teenagers in a public park, leading to three successful prosecutions for animal cruelty.

What did the dog say to the other dog when it jumped into a river?

It barked.